Have you ever experienced a wrecking ball? If you have a pulse and you’re reading this, then you surely have. A wrecking ball is a circumstance or event that basically knocks you back, taking the wind out of you. Oftentimes, a wrecking ball is sudden and unexpected, and it comes in all types and sizes. It can be bad news delivered via text or a phone call — “Are you busy? I need to talk to you about something…” It can be the revelation of a betrayal by a friend or loved one. A wrecking ball can be learning that your child is anxious or depressed or both. It can also be struggling with your own mental illness. It can be your parent’s divorce or your own. Maybe, it’s an addiction. Perhaps your wrecking ball is a layoff… unpaid bills… foreclosure. Then, of course, there are the wrecking balls that blindside us when we turn on the news — like another shooting, rising gas prices, or another variant of Covid-19. Another possible wrecking ball might be rejection or abandonment; that one is a double whammy that swings, strikes and then comes back for a second blow. By now, you’re getting the idea, and you’re probably thinking about the different wrecking balls that have struck you not only recently, but throughout your lifetime. Jesus told his disciples in John 16:33 (ESV), “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” The Greek word for tribulation, thlipsis, means pressure, oppression, affliction and distress. That means that tribulations, afflictions, distress, in other words, what I call “wrecking balls”, are inevitable because of the broken world that we live in.
Both in my own experience and in my profession, I have found that one of the places that wrecking balls most afflict us is in our feelings. During these times of affliction, primary emotions of sadness, anger, fear and disgust are triggered. In fact, maybe you have been accused of “being in your feelings” at one time or another. Unfortunately, this may have caused shame and guilt that hindered you from expressing the pain and trauma that was being felt. The fact of the matter is that wrecking balls cause pain! The pain needs a healthy outlet for processing in order to heal. Otherwise, the hole that is caused remains and becomes a trigger and source for more issues in the future. In addition, the wrecking ball gains the momentum to swing out and then swing back again causing even more destruction, again and again.
What is a healthy outlet? It is the expression of the feelings about the pain in the form of talking, journaling, praying, worshiping, singing, drawing — something that helps to get the pain out of you, like squeezing and popping a nasty, pus-filled pimple. Suppressing or ignoring pain and the emotions caused by it doesn’t work. They must be released, otherwise, they eventually infect and defile you and others. Yes, emotions can be messy, but there’s a wonderful invention created to help — they’re called tissues. Use them liberally. Tears are cathartic, providing relief. That is the reason why we always feel better after a good cry, even though the situation has not changed.
When Jesus was sad, he wept (John 11:35). Our Maker created us with the ability to process all of the emotions that He gave us, from joy to sadness and the entirety of the spectrum in between. There are no “good” or “bad” emotions. Each one serves a purpose, by signaling a needed response to a condition or circumstance, much like the check engine or gas light on the dashboard of a car. Our job is to respond to the signal. When we ignore the signals, there are consequences that eventually lead to malfunctions and breakdowns, much like when we ignore the notifications on our “emotional dashboard”.
The good news is that just as there are mechanics to service cars, there are also specialists for treating the “emotional breakdowns” that arise from the wrecking balls of life. In particular, Christian mental health professionals and clergy are skilled with connecting you with God, your manufacturer. God has the “peace” (pun intended) needed to repair the holes and other broken parts caused by wrecking balls. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27 ESV). Thayer Lexicon says peace is, “the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort it is.” Notice, that there is no condition for peace, except for us to trust and rest in Jesus and receive it. Also, of significance is that we can have peace irregardless of the situation.
Unfortunately, we have more confidence and expectation that an employer will pay wages on a certain date than we do that Jesus will give us peace in the midst of life’s storms and wrecking balls. Our expectations for God’s peace do not have to be that way, however, and we can recover from the wrecking balls wreaking havoc in our world, such as rampant fear and anxiety about what will happen next. The Apostle Paul gives us instructions for experiencing the peace of God: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT). Now is the time for us to become more like children in our vulnerability, in our dependence on God, and in our faith. We don’t have to do it alone. In fact, we’re not designed to. Talk to God. Reach out to someone who is trustworthy. Shed a tear, and allow yourself to be comforted. It’s time to begin your recovery.
This is an excerpt from my book, Kingdom Manual for Spiritual Housecleaning: What Every Believer Needs to Know, where you can learn more about wrecking balls and how to process them.